six flags, land of enchantment.

today our grade went to six flags, and guess who i got stuck with? kim, sleepy, and leo were just a sampling. and guess who was completely obsessed with getting kim and leo together and alone?? i mena, it could have been worse. according to kims blog, shari kept pushing him to ask her out every time kim looked away. i spent most of my time with em, so i didnt really notice, but he didnt! the dance and that alone! eat it, kimberly! of course, they were together almost the entire time, but still. small victories.

my sole interaction with leo was quick exchanges on where in the park to go next. but on the other hand, i did score major brownie points with him mum, who i like a lot. family friends and all that. but, we had an animated conversation about the trip, and we did mention somethings that may push her towards talking about me to leo. for instance, apparently he didnt really respond to any of her questions about it, so i filled her in on what he did since he was in my group most of the time. i mentioned that he kept suggesting the log flume, even though it was raining. and that we finally conceded. she asked me if he behaved, and i of course said yes. i didnt mention kim once, obviously, but i hope he doesnt. i dont know, he might. would he talk to his mum about that stuff? maybe his dad. i just dont know. and i doubt either would bring it up with me if we were talking. why would they? i believe theyre coming again for dinner on friday, maybe his mum will embarrass him and enlighten me on the whole issue. i can only hope.

one last leo note: sleepy got all weird and wacko at one point because when you combine the names of the kim and leo, (yes, his name isnt actually leo) you get kenny. kenny always dies. i now have a new hope for their relationship. i mean, i really am happy for kim. and i hope she gets something good out of this. but everything in the world is done for self preservation or gratification.

post 2 of today

this was written on my first blog. its been on my mind a lot.

leo came to dinner last night, with his family. our parents are good friends, so i see him a lot outside of school. and like always, he practically ignores me during school and then is friendly and open when hes at my house. we played some games with our little siblings, and ran around while brina sat inside with the adults, as usual. everything was fun, but the two times we were alone were brief and we were both silent. it was sad.

but leo being shy and quiet is to be expected. not a big problem. a real problem is that kim asked one of our friends to ask leo if he was going to ask her to the dance without telling him she had asked, and he said maybe. apparently he ignored her for the rest of the day. so... is he extra shy because he likes her, because he was embarrassed he was asked that, scared she would know he was asked that, or something totally different. oh, and kim also thinks that they are soul mates, and that i only have a crush on him. well, kim, i have news for you. when i asked who you liked in 6th grade, i suspected frenchy or max. i really did. but then you said it was him... it was like you had punched me. you wrote it down, and handed me the paper, and i read it over and over again. i really, really hoped you werent serious and you were teasing me because you had discovered that after all, i did like someone. and that it was him. well, kimberly, it hurt to read that. i ached inside. i first met leo years and years ago. i dont even know the right word to describe how i feel about him. when he dropped plastic trains on my head in kindergarten, i was in pain, but i was elated that he had noticed me. whenever i wrote about him in my 'diary', i used the code name trains in case my parents ever found it. i hoped forever that he would not be shy around me. that he would notice me. and then, of course, you came along.

kim, you were my second ever friend who wasnt jewish. you were my first friend in middle school, where i was forever dreading that the shame and dread and every other damn thing i had to endure after private school was coming back to haunt me. i was scared, and you were my friend. for most of 6th grade, you and ruth were the only people i liked at all. and then i read what you wrote, and it was like a betrayal. i dont want you to read this, kim. i dont want to upset you, hurt you, offend you. but i hate your feelings for him. i hate you for your feelings. can you explain that? you are one of my closest friends, but i cant hold back this feeling that i need to beat you at everything. youre smarter, stronger, prettier, and you are going to get leo. you are a better person. but i hate you for everything you are. im so sorry, kim. sorry i cant tell you how i feel about anything. sorry ive... felt this way about leo forever. sorry you had to come into the picture. but kim, i honestly cannot forgive you. and im sorry for that, too. im glad it is memorial weekend, because i cannot face you for at least a week. and oh crap, i just remembered that you two are going on the music trip to hershey park together. now i need to go distract myself, because i am so terribly sorry about everything.

this was a few weeks ago.

i talk about leo to much on my blog, so here i am.

well, this is my firsrt time blogging on this blog, created to staunch the flow of all-things-leo in my other, better blog. im sure my sole reader will be glad. so, a background:

the players: me, kim, and the apple of our eyes, leo. yes, in the plural.

feelings: we both... have strong feelings for him. im have no clue how she feels about him, so ill leave it at that. however, i do know that me and kim are great friends, and i dont want this getting between us. i have this insane urge to beat her to leo, which i will. she, on the other hand, believes i only have a crush on him. that maybe what i said to her, but when will she learn that i never mean what i say?

about leo: smart, shy, slightly aggressive if he gets comfortable enough around you even though he wouldnt hurt a fly, a fellow jew, a family friend, older brother, sweet, hard working.

about kim: clever, quiet, brave, stubborn, fast, plotting.

from the beginning: leos parents and mine are friends. while this may be horrible on our would be relationship, it isnt. he is highly shy, and shabbat dinners together are our best communicating times. i get to be near him outside of school, another great aspect. but i have had these feelings for him since who knows when. first grade, maybe? i cant remember not liking him. the first time i was giddy over him (or, for that matter, any boy) was very early on. he dropped trains on my head at a friends house, and i was crying with pain and excitement that he had noticed me. my love grew. more has happened, but still he is only chasing me when we play tag. which is every time he and his brother come over for dinner.

from 6th grade: this is kims history of leo. she liked him since 6th grade, when she told me. things have gotten worse from there, in my point of view. so, she told me. i was sad, and hid it until about 4 months ago when she figured it out. she still doesnt know anything about it, but ah well. he talks to her during school, but on her blog she has recently written that he has been ignoring her. this might be because he is about as shy as a turtle, but im not sure. oh yea, and she asked him to the graduation dance on a dare.

it was a double dare, which meant she could choose that or something else, and she chose to ask him. (you can see my reaction on my other blog, which is better. i was horrified.) so, he said yes and its killing me. the dance on my birthday and i have to watch my friend and my love go together. i feel like helena, except hermia is out to get me. leo can play both of the guys.

recap: i love leo. kim loves leo. leo is going to the dance with kim. i need help.

present day: so kim is going to the dance with leo, i dont have any cherries on hand, i have a headache and kim thinks leo is getting... what was the word she used? courageous. not the word i would have picked, but oh well. this was in her june 8th entry. she really needs to stop aggravating me. not to be conceited or anything, i know the world isnt about me, but this is the final straw. i hope her stomach bug kicks in and she cant go to the dance. no, i dont. but i kinda do...

today after gym i was imagining this scenario where all my dreams come true. leo pulled me over while i was heading to my locker, and told me he didnt want to go to the dance with kim. that he had gone to her and told her that he had only said yes when she asked because he didnt want her being embarrassed in front of everyone who wasnt me, dana and ruth. so he left her, and had come over to ask me... well, you get the picture. i gush and say yes, we have a magical time at the dance, and there is a lightning storm with cherry rain. then kim interupted my reverie to ask me something about science. kim, you are on your last leg. is that a phrase? im not sure.